Heartless
Jason Chong
Now I ask myself..

Have I turn cold??..

Heartless??..

Painless??..

Some close to me will only know my past..

How many time I got stab straight into my heart??..

The pain is too much to handle for a normal boy..

I prefer the pain on the outside than the inside..

How many scar I had in my body??..

Is quite a lot even my chest got like a knife slash scar..

I have grow up with quite a lot of bitterness..

Because I can still feel the scars I have in my heart..

As I accept Christ,God have show me love and guide me..

I slowly grow from bitterness boy to a person that love others..

I starting to help others..

Learn from leaders..

Study harder..

Be a better person..

As I know a lot of friends who seriously suffer in relationship..

And news show a lot of things to me about this topic..

I find it really interesting and really want to help those kind of people..

If my mom and dad relationship is good,my life wouldn't be like this..

So is like my passion in life to research and study about this topic..

I have read a lot of relationship books..

Mostly related to God..

I have some wisdom from books and people about relationship..

I have train myself to be quite a self control person..

A lot better than last time..

My 1st girlfriend happen this year April..

To tell you the truth..

I'm really happy to have someone to love and trust me..

I value her really highly..

And put my extra time on her..

As I know her past..

I feel really sorry for her and want to heal her heart with my time and love..

That's why I put a lot of afford on her..

I dream to have a great family in the future with her..

I plan a lot of things because she is my 1st gf..

Problem arise in our shoes..

Both of us suffer a lot of stress..

I can't blame her for giving up on me..

She break up with me..

I feel really terrible..

Really emotional..

I can't control my thinking,attitude and behavior..

I did and say a lot of stupid stuff..

I feel sorry and depress over this..

After a month,college had started..

I have already forgive and forget her..

But my emotion is still unstable..

A lot of things I don't want to say and a lot of things I don't want to remember..

This has cause another scar in my heart..

As now is the beginning of July..

I'm quite in control of myself..

But I can't feel any happiness around me anymore..

Now what I'm chasing is my own Happiness..

I will continue chasing my Dreams..

Will not let this incident effect my whole life..

I will take this incident as a life experience..

Sign out,
Jason Chong
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